The Blue Blob

A tiny jelly blue blob is captured during a research mission. What will it do now?

By Mad Robots


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Activating Drone 117224............

Unknown object detected............

Scanning............

Shapeless, jelly-like and a complete mystery. Where did it come from? Is it dangerous? Should we jettison it out of an airlock? And why does it wobble like that? It's disturbing. I should probably alert the crew at some point but they are all still in stasis, and it would be impolite to wake them needlessly. I need to come up with a plan to deal with this.. this.. thing.

Analysis complete. Please relocate specimen to containment unit alpha 12, deck 14 Research.

I know that. Thanks for the update ANI. Just because I am the one who can move around I always get the disgusting jobs.

The small orb shaped drone zips over to the table where the gelatinous object rests, happily wobbling to the drone of the stardrive. The soft neutral color is pulsating from clear to a light sky blue. "Come on, get in the bowl. I want to get this over with so I can go back to standby already." The orb clicks loudly at the blue blob. I hate my job. Why the company insists on having an active drone on these missions is beyond me. It's not like I DO anything important. Yes, I can maintain the life pods, and sure, it is necessary to monitor the ship's systems occasionally but can't one of the flesh bags do that?

The blue blob deftly avoids the orb's attempts at capture by bobbing, sliding and contracting just out of reach.

"Will you hold still?!" a metallic voice emanates from the sphere with a shrill whistle. The blue blob then rolls off the table. Really? Why do you need to make my life harder? ANI, can't you do anything to help?

Command recognized. Altering environmental controls now.

Internal temperature now at -100 Degrees.

Gee thanks. Not only do I need to catch this blobby disgusting creature, but I also have to freeze my servos in the process?

Affirmative.

The blue blob lets out a shrill rhythmic sound that is reminiscent of a laugh. It tucks itself into a dense ball and begins to roll out the door, bouncing as it goes. "Great, now both of you are laughing! See what you did ANI?" the orb chirps again as it hovers out the door. Where did it go? ANI, please track that thing, I can't find it, and please turn the heat back up, it is freezing in here!

Command recognized. Altering environmental controls now.

Internal temperature now at 70 Degrees.

Scanning for unknown life form............

Life form detected. Uploading location data now............

A bright display appears in the reflection of the single eye of the orb drone, showing a layout of the ship and a small blue dot approximately 40 meters ahead. Perfect, it's trying to make it into the medical bay! The orb hovers through the maze of corridors at high speed until from a door 5 meters ahead a crash echoes loudly. "Oh no! What did it get into now?" the drone clicks as it approaches the door. Rolling around on a shelf, knocking over glass vials and computer equipment is the same blue blob tucked into a tight ball.

The Blue Blob hops down to the floor with a wet smacking sound. Slowly it crawls back into a relatively cohesive mass and gurgles at the drone. "Same to you!" the floating orb snaps back. "Now get into this containment housing will you?" the drone beeps as it lowers a cylindrical tank toward the blob. With a bright flash of purple and blue light the blob leaps onto the drone and out of the door again. Yuck! ANI I just got slimed! Ew ew ew!

Engaging decontamination protocol now............

A short blast of high-pressure fluid hits the drone, knocking it to the floor. The orb releases a short high pitched squeal as it rolls down the hallway and crashes into a bulkhead. Thanks, ANI.

Decontamination Protocol complete.

You may continue your duties.

The drone hovered from bulkhead to bulkhead looking for the blue blob. "Here blobby! I have a sweet treat for you!" the drone chirps loudly. Where did that thing go now? Suddenly the ship begins to violently rock and shutter.

Error detected in engineering controls............

I know, I know! I am going there now ANI. The drone floats through the rocking vessel with ease and reaches the engineering bulkhead. The door starts to open but stops halfway and begins to close. Now I have to fix this too? The drone quickly decouples the wire housing and engages the manual override. The bulkhead snaps open, and the drone flies into engineering in time to see the Blob bounce from the control panel into a giant vat of Biogel used to repair the organic circuits all over the ship. "No! Get your slimy self out of there!" the drone chirps in a Shrill alarm. The vat begins to pulse with a rainbow of lights and bubble violently. Great! What is it doing now? The drone quickly disengages all drives aboard the ship and retracts the solar drag sail.

The vat of Biogel finally settles. What now? Did you die? The drone floats over to the vat of Biogel and leans over the edge of the tub. The Biogel begins to swell. The blue blob leaps from the gel and lands squarely on the top of the floating orb and lets out a soft gurgling sound. "Get off! I don't want to be ..." the blue blob oozes a clear slime over the drones optic relay. "Slimed again!" a laughing gurgle came from the blue blob as it hopped back to the floor, quickly followed by a green and yellow blob, each going in a different direction before the drone could whirl around and catch any of them.

Contamination Detected............

Engaging decontamination protocol now............

Not again! A short blast of high-pressure fluid hits the drone, knocking it to the floor. The orb releases a short high pitched squeal as it rolls across the floor and crashes into the fuel containment.

Decontamination Protocol complete.

You may continue your duties.

ANI you are an excellent automaton, the drone comments sarcastically into the ship's logs. Now where did those blobs go? The drone levitates off the floor and turns to leave. Just then a small red blob rolls out of the vat and onto the floor sluggishly. "Ahh Ha!" a triumphant fanfare echoes through engineering as the drone scoops up the red blob and quickly caps the container. I caught one! I am putting it into the inter-ship vacuum delivery system, can you take care of it for me?

Transferring containment vessel to cold storage............

A hiss of gasses pushes past the containment vessel until it sucked into the transit tube.

Containment vessel delivered.

Now where did the rest go? The drone flies out of the engineering bay and down a corridor. As the drone zips past the hypersleep storage facility the map displayed on the Drone's optics begins to flash rapidly.

Life form detected............

That is the hypersleep storage room, of course, there are lifeforms ANI! its the crew, duh.

Unknown life form detected............

The map continues to flash rapidly. Fine, I will check. The drone zips into the storage facility. Quickly darting between vessels, the drone finds the yellow blob. It has crawled into the captain's sleep chamber and tucked itself under the captain's beard. A soft cooing sound is heard coming from the yellow blob as it gently jiggles. I found you...

The drone begins the wake cycle quietly as the blob shifts softly around on the captain. With a click, the door of the sleep chamber silently swings open. "I got you!" the drone chirps excitedly as he slips the yellow blob into the containment vessel.

Transferring containment vessel to cold storage............

A hiss of gasses pushes past the containment vessel until it sucked into the transit tube.

Containment vessel delivered.

The captain begins to wake up. He can see the drone flitting around the room, apparently malfunctioning. "Computer, Deactivate drone number 11..." the captain's words are cut short as the drone slams the door shut again and presses the button to re-engage the Hypersleep system on the Captain's tube. "Go back to sleep, silly fleshbag. Its ok, I have this under control." The drone lets out the equivalent of a chuckle with its raspy mechanical voice. "It's not like you've been much help anyway!"

Laughing to himself, the drone continues buzzing along the hallway. Drifting around, the drone passes the cargo hold. A sharp crash emanates from deep inside the cargo hold. Wait, what? The drone floats back to the cargo hold door. The door glides open with a quick hiss. The cargo hold is pitch black, the multicolored shipping containers emblazoned with the Inashi Corporation logo sitting silently in the dark.

A second crash comes from the back, behind the front row of steel boxes. ANI, can I get some lights in here?

Engaging overhead lighting system............

Thanks, ANI. The lights begin illuminating the massive cargo hold slowly. Suddenly, the light reflects off a large green mass jutting out from one of the steel boxes marked with hard, stenciled letters that read "RATIONS." Uh oh.... ANI I don't think that this will hold that... thing. Do you have any ideas?

Engaging vacuum Storage system............

A long snake-like tube drops from the ceiling and passes the drone, the sound of the suction clearly audible. It's slithering over to the green mass protruding from the rations crate. A loud to slurping sound reverberates through the cargo hold as the green mass gets sucked through the tube. As soon as the green blob passed through the opening of the tube, it begins to wildly flail, quickly adhering to the drone as it retracts towards the ceiling. ANI!!! Shut it off!! ANI!! Help me ANI! With a hard jolt, the hose reel attaches to the roof and shakes loose the drone who falls hard against the floor. That's it! I'm going back to my charging port, and you can't stop me!

Completely forgetting about the fourth and final blob the drone drifts back to the bridge and docks itself with it's charging port.

Powering down drone unit number 117224............

Initiating charging sequence............

The whistle and hum of the blue blob echo off of the air duct which it's wandering through. On its left, it sees a bundle of fiber optic cable flashing erratically. It gurgles and begins rolling along the wire. Suddenly the floor drops away to a steep slope. The blob runs uncontrollably along with the cable to a sudden stop through a grate at the bottom of the hill. The blob congeals itself and reforms into the roughly cylindrical shape it normally has. The blob realizes that there's a brilliantly lit console directly in front of it.

Blob gurgles. The control panel sits there. inactive. Although the blob is incapable of displaying human-like expressions, it is clearly agitated. The cable that it had been following connects directly to the terminal. The blob examines the cable and realizes that it's flashing light in a multitude of colors. Further examination of the panel reveals that it is equipped with some form of a recording device which can receive visual colors.

"How can I be of assistance?" The panel states clearly.

Rapidly, the blue blob flashes a series of colors to the interface.

red-red-blue-yellow-blue-blue. red-blue-blue-red-yellow-red. red-blue-red-yellow-red-yellow. red-blue-red-yellow-red-yellow. red-blue-blue-red-yellow-yellow. red-blue-red-yellow-yellow-red. red-blue-blue-red-red-yellow. red-blue-red-yellow-blue-blue. red-blue-blue-red-yellow-blue.

Analyzing for intelligence............

Ternary logic coding detected............ translating.

Please restate your request............

"Greetings! I am Narl. I was the victim of a malfunction aboard a transport craft. The vehicle jettisoned me into space. My species is capable of surviving the environment of space for several weeks in deep hibernation. This is the state you found me in" a mechanical voice reverberates inside the small maintenance hatch as the blob continues flashing rapidly.

"I would like to humbly request passage aboard this vehicle so I may rejoin my species." The mechanical voice clicks.

Please state destination.

"My destination is a small planetoid located in a ternary star system. Approximately 3.335 light years from the point you found me. What is your system of coordinates based on?" There is a short pause, and then a display appears depicting a galactic star chart as well as a brief diagram showing galactic zero plane.

Requested star system located.

The unknown planetary body cannot be determined............

Please provide spatial coordinates.

After another series of flashes, the blob provides the spatial coordinates to the computer.

Analyzing............

New destination results in .4% course deviation.

Course deviation acceptable.

Plotting new course............

Please make your way to escape port alpha J42, deck 7, Bridge.

With a soft gurgling sound, the blue blob starts sliding in the direction of deck seven.

Insufficient re-entry vehicle cataloged............

The blue blob slides to a stop by another maintenance panel.

"Could the funny orb creature come with me to my new planet? I think that my people would find him fascinating" the mechanical translator rattles out.

Affirmative.

Drone 117224 assigned refit for re-entry pod.

Engaging reconfiguration cycle............

The blue blob bounces happily at the news and continues rolling towards the bridge.

Installing containment vessel............

Complete.

Installing re-entry shielding............

Complete.

Relocation of drone 117224 to escape port alpha J42, deck 7, Bridge............

Complete.

The blue blob rolls happily into the containment vessel and seals its lid behind it. It flashes "Thank you again!" before settling down.

Disengaging hyper-light drive............

Deploying solar drag sail............

Reactivating drone 117224............

ANI I told you I was charging... where am I? Wait, this is an ejection port! ANI, what are you doing?

Uploading Ternary Spectral Encoding protocols............

What do I need that for? ANI, I'm sorry if I offended you! Please let me inside!

Uploading re-entry trajectory protocols and destination............

A PLANET!?!? Gross! ANI, I will handle 30% of your processing load if you just let me inside now, please? Do you know what lives on planets? Gross, disgusting flesh bags, That's who!

Engaging ejection port thrusters............

A short thankful gurgle comes from inside the drone. Is that slime... inside me?! EWWW! Gross! Get it out, get it out! I am not a shuttle!

Assigning new designation: Drone re-entry pod alpha 1............

A shrill whistle bursts forth from the drone as the ship passes the small planetoid and it is ejected from the ship moments before the ship re-enters hyperlight travel.

Activating Drone 117225............

Status report: on course to original destination.

Unknown object detected............

Scanning............

Shapeless, jelly-like and a complete mystery. Where did it come from? Is it dangerous? Should we jettison it out of an airlock? And why does it wobble like that? It's disturbing. I should probably alert the crew at some point but they are all still in stasis, and it would be impolite to wake them needlessly. I need to come up with a plan to deal with this.. this.. Green Blob.

Analysis complete. Please relocate specimen to containment unit alpha 12, deck 14 Research.


The End